rain

rain falls steadily as i write. i used to love the feeling of a rainy day back when it held the promise of a happy phone call from the boy i loved. he would remind me all day how wonderful storms are and how blessed he is by it. i loved to sit with him in the car and listen to the rain pound on the roof picturing myself years from then still relishing such moments. now, time has passed yet, my heart still aches. rain creates a sense of nostalgia that i wish was escapable. i'd run miles away to have the ability to take a breath without my mind feeding on the days long since passed. shortness of breath is natural now as i wake up to the sound of water pelting my window during a blustery night only to find dreams are better. i am a fool, but a fool willing to put my whole heart into rectifying this. i wish whole heartedly i would have known what i do now. things would be...
i can only press on with what little hope i have left in patience and understanding.

"She missed him the days when some pretext served to take him away from her, just as one misses the sun on a cloudy day without having thought much about the sun when it was shining."
-Kate Chopin, The Awakening