Thought I was There

I'm starting to forget what it feels like to write, how much I love the clackety clack of the keyboard under my insistent fingers.

My laptop's 'v' key has a mind of its own and seems to love annoying me. I will be typing viciously, and with a velocity of verocious vividness and variety this volitile 'v' key vexates me to no end...
vvvvvvvv <--- me trying to keep this dumb key on.

Ha, well, let me continue on for this is my soap box and its quite liberating to speak my mind without interjection. These past couple weeks have been the strangest roller coaster yet experienced. I have seen the work of a force so much greater than myself and though it is my life, I am the minimal player and have beseeched the grandest role to my Creator. I know so many do not believe in the infinite but time and again my finite mind yearns for that which is beyond me. Where do these thoughts even come from? My searching would not be even an issue if there wasn't an idea already preformed in me beyond my control. Why do we even have a faint knowledge of what we are searching for if something greater does not exist?
I digress, back to my life...though I did provide a disclaimer in stating this is my soapbox.

A little over a year ago, my heart was broken beyond what I at the time even recognized. My family, friends, everyone said to move on and that it was a lost cause. I wanted to be good at taking their advice. I tried everything to forget, to move on, to heal. And while healing has come, I am not even near forgetting. Right when I came back to school, it was set in my mind that at last I would accomplish the task...this was the semester for it. But, there were other plans in motion and so trails dobut in my worth, questioning if i will be given up on again...
oh heart, why do you even beat if you just lead to destruction?

Currently, I am planning a trip to Rwanda. This is my joy.
To once again see Africa, serve those people, listen to kids laughing...bliss.


okay, i need to write more. this is a perfect release.